The Original White Meats - U2, Coldplay, Dave Matthews

In an effort to give some insight into what we here at YHWYE are all about, allow me to share with you the impetus for this journal's creation. Someone somewhere (I think it was Anthony Bourdain) said that nobody takes chicken seriously as a dish anymore, because it's basically a default choice for people who a) cannot make up their mind, or b) just don't care. Which kinda makes sense when you consider how prevalent chicken dishes are on the menus of generic chain restaurants versus their prevalence on the menus of "better" (read: haughtier) restaurants. Chicken in our culinary landscape has become a vehicle for grease and cheese.

Not unlike Coldplay.

My awesome chicken story above is representative of my thoughts on many mainstream bands today. They are inoffensive stopgaps for people who either don't know any better or just don't care. Which makes them horribly, horribly offensive to many people who are passionate about music in the same fashion that a fluffy chicken breast covered in cheese and bacon is offensive to someone who is passionate about food.

Like almost everything to be discussed in this blog, the issue here is 100% a matter of taste, both literally and figuratively (neat!). Now I realize that if I was to hold both food and music in truly equal regard, I could pose the question, "What dish or restaurant would be the U2 of cuisine?". But that would sound completely more ridiculous than the question, "Which band is the cultural equivalent of chicken?" Which is a completely, unridiculous, valid question.

So I made a little list, as I'm wont to do from time to time. The criteria was essentially, "What are Whitey's favorite bands?". Who sells out arenas not with passionate fans, but with law firm luxury suites, and mouth-breathers clad in the trendiest fashions from two years ago? Who do Sex and the City fans like? What tickets are the most absurdly overpriced?

Those are the expanses of the search. Now time to filter. Clearly Pavarotti tickets are, by common standards, absurdly overpriced. (Note: I think Pavarotti might be dead, deeming all future Pavarotti tickets wildly overpriced). But his audience is discriminating and overwhelmingly rich. Fans of 311 are not either of these things. Streisand falls into the former category as well. Celine Dion and Barry Manilow straddle this line with remarkable grace.

Further, the decision of many to attend a concert or buy an album by these "chicken" bands is more cultural than musical. Which is a more prevalent phenomenon than I am willing to admit, if only because the cultural motives are relegations. Gotta go to two concerts a year, might as well be U2. Let's all pile into our Honda elements and 3-serieseseses and hear 'Beautiful Day' just like it sounds on the album!!! I'm upsetting myself. Let's move on.

Before the list, let me say that inclusion on this list does not constitute my passing judgment. Some of these bands I abhor, while some I simply mock. They are all incredibly palatable. Which is probably why I hate so many of them. One or two I might like. Try to guess. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the answer.

note - italicized bands have black members or fans

• U2
• Coldplay
• The Dave Matthews Band (black members, no black fans)
  
• Matchbox 20
  
• Snoop Dogg (one black member, many black fans)
• The Police (no black members, possible black fans)
• Maroon 5

That's all I got for now. Back to dive into the above bands in the next post.

In the interim - Who are your "chicken bands"? Indulge me in the comments section. And by doing so, indulge yourself.