I would also like to say one more thing to all the haters out there that think Comic-Con has become co-opted by the mainstream media and now is mass marketed to all the entertainment buffs out there: The times they are a-changin'!!!!
My god, that was exhausting. And a lie. I didn't go to Comic-Con. And don't think I ever will. However, I feel that at least my attendance at the event would lend credibility to my blog and push it over that "5 reader hump" I've been hearing so much about. At most, it will get more web hits cause I've mentioned Comic-Con already like 4 times.
If you have read my blog post on the "chickens" of the music industry (see a couple posts below), then you'll realize I find this to be a divisive issue that has monopolized a disproportionate amount of my precious, precious time. Equally intriguing to me is the phenomenon of Radiohead. I don't particularly like Radiohead, but I guess I respect them because so many people I respect live and die by them. Radiohead's music has just never made that big an impression on me. But I certainly don't hate them. And many critics and friends share this sentiment with me.
as talented as he is retarded-lookingWhich isn't a bad spot to be in. At best, you're worshiped (i feel there should be another "p" in "worshiped" but my spell-checker says otherwise. Moving on). At worst, you're respectfully dismissed with little prejudice. I guess if this was a blog about sports and music, then Radiohead would be Brett Favre. But you can't eat Brett Favre. Legally. So we'll have to find an analog more in line with the theme of this blog.
What food would Radiohead be?
If anyone read this blog, this could be a contentious issue. I will pretend people do read this blog and tread lightly to make myself feel important. Radiohead would be a "good" food. Not necessarily in terms of taste, but in terms of esteem. And divisive. They would not be a hamburger or a sno-cone. Radiohead also seems more ethereal than a simple "steak" or "lobster". That is to say, they are as much an indulgence as they are a meal.
My initial instinct was to make Radiohead foie gras. But foie gras is divisive in the wrong way. Foie gras is divisive because some people aren't thrilled with the idea of a goose having its feet nailed down to a board and being force fed via a beer bong until its liver swells up to roughly the size of a "The Real Ghostbusters" lunch box. This isn't what Radiohead is about. While I know very little about Radiohead, if I saw Thom Yorke lightly tapping nails into the webbed feet of our fine-feathered friends, my regard for Radiohead would travel south of respect into the depths of "bewilderment" or "abject horror". So they're not foie gras.
What they are is caviar. I don't like caviar. It tastes like exactly what it is - fish and eggs. Not only do I not mock the people who like caviar, but I envy them. I envy them cause caviar is so damn classy. Just like Radiohead. Caviar and Radiohead are both things I want to like, but just don't. Like New York City and Frisbee Golf. So it is said, so it shall be done. Radiohead is caviar. But not Beluga cause they aren't that elitist.
Speaking of caviar. I attended a soiree on Friday night and had an "edible cocktail". The name "edible cocktail" threw me for something of a loop, as I considered "edible" to be synonymous with "able to be put in your mouth". Considering I wasn't an Icelandic girl who insereted vodka into her system by other means during their 4 months of night, I didn't really see the need for specificity. It turns out that edible means "eatable". Shocking.
Which wasn't redundant. But it was a misnomer and a terrible lie. They were essentially little flavored Jello cubes. Blood Orange and vodka was innocuous enough. I then tried one that sounded repulsive, but I wanted to to try nonetheless in my continuing efforts to be super-classy. Vodka and Caviar. The Jello portion was clear and unflavored, save for the vodka taste. The inside was fish eggs.
This was definitely not an "edible cocktail". After some sucking and chewing on vodka flavored Jello, you get to the fishy middle. Stupid little fish eggs that I would find in my teeth for the next couple hours. It really just tasted like shit.
Besides serving as notice that I attend crazy-awesome parties, this story demonstrates that although I don't like caviar, I wanted to like caviar so bad that I subjected myself to flavor-terror in the hopes that something would change. And if going to a Radiohead concert was as easy as popping a bullshit vodka candy, I would try that too.
(And that my friends, is how you bring a story back home)
Until next time, keep your heads in the clouds and your cocktails potable.
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4 comments:
Your taste buds may need refining. As one who endulges on large quantities of cavier and vodka, I disagree with your comparison. Radiohead is not the band that I would compare Russia's two most significant contributions to the world. Your comments, although drool and quite clever, miss the point all-together. Similar to the sound of your Hollywood party, and probably you love life from the undertones of your posts. But I digress.
Frank Sinatra is a much better comparison. He oozes class and sophistication in the same way that cavier and vodka do. If you took a poll of all the bloggers on this site asking them their thoughts, I am sure they would agree. In fact, ask any stranger what they think of cavier and vodka. After they respond ask them their thoughts on Frank and you will get a similar response. They may not like them, but they will have a healthy respect for what they represent. The finer things in life. (This is all under the assumption that you are not making the comparison to Lumpfish Roe and a handle of Russia's cheapest)
I bid you a fond farewell and look forward to your next indulgence into the world of music and the fine foods of the world.
Sincerely,
The Fat Man
My party was in Beverly Hills, not Hollywood. Eat it, Fatty.
I underestimated your status in life but I based the Hollywood comment on your profile and that hideous picture. A party in the "Hills" one can only wonder how many drug induced frenzied bathroom romps you took part in my young friend. I can imagine that a poor quality caviar would have a similar taste and consistency as a trollop in the bathroom at a party in Beverly Hills.
I certainly didn't mean to give the illusion that I am some hotshot party boy. But my love of food (mostly from restaurants, rather than home cooked) combined with my job in hospitality affords me indulgences from time to time that I certainly don't take for granted.
As snarky as I may come across in this blog, I almost always carry a respect for the things I mock. Casual dining represents America perhaps better than any other segment of the food service industry. Consequently, it's a beautiful representation of where the country is in terms of its culinary culture.
As for whether or not my taste buds need refining, I will never purport to be a gourmand. I love food and restaurants, but a good meal, food or restaurant should transcend mere taste to make life a little better for that moment. Be it through good company, relaxation, or simple indulgence.
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